I applaud you, random caring stranger. Thanks for spreading the better message. 👏

(As per BC’s request to post on tumblr)

I applaud you, random caring stranger. Thanks for spreading the better message. 👏

(As per BC’s request to post on tumblr)


It’s been a while.

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Lake Lucern from the tram going up to Mt. Pilatus.
I love you, Switzerland.

Lake Lucern from the tram going up to Mt. Pilatus.

I love you, Switzerland.

Anonymous asked: Says you're fighting ga battle with insecurity one day at a time, but you seem like a really interesting, intelligent person. Really! And less important and perhaps a little weird, but you're very pretty. :)

Hi. Hahaha is this the same anon who’s always so nice to me? Thank you for your kind words! I’m sure I put on a better facade on my blog than my actual self, so please don’t overestimate me! Haha!

It’s very touching to hear people (anonymous or not!) being so nice, especially after getting that anon before you. I’m actually quite surprised I’m still getting some messages here and there once in a while, even though I’m very inactive.

Also, I don’t often get messages about my looks so thank you haha this is kinda awkward. Ahahaha. Awkwardness strikes again! Yes, I am quite insecure (several reasons why) and posting on this blog really helps be release some pent up feelings I keep. Thank you for visiting mind. :)

Anonymous asked: Filipino language is very easy to learn maybe you're just a slow learner.

Wow, where did this even come from :)) I don’t think I’ve posted about speaking Filipino in a really long time, so I honestly don’t know where this is coming from lol.

I don’t think you can just “learn” a language, it should come second nature to you. As for me, English was my first language and what I use all the time. I don’t speak in Tagalog at home and I don’t usually converse in it outside my home either, so I don’t sound natural when I speak. I do know how to speak, I just have poor vocabulary and a terrible accent. :P

Growing Up

It is so sad when you give up one passion for another.

You realize there are two types of needs: the need to stay alive and the need to be alive. Seemingly synonymous, but very much different.

Staying alive requires you to be educated, make a living, and find any means to continue to exist on this planet.
Being alive has one sole requirement: to be happy.

There comes a time where you either think that you need to stay alive to be alive, or be alive to stay alive. Sometimes, the lines get blurred and you think they are one in the same. Conversely, you may believe you will need to give one of them up.

I am at the point in my life where I have no fucking clue. I am fully aware of my needs and what I can do to reach those dreams, but I doubt the reality of having both needs achieved in my life. Yes, I could have happiness even when I choose the path of staying alive, but a part of me will always be yearning for that alternative route I could have gone. It seems so forlorn to have both my needs achieved side by side; very much unrealistic and quite foolish to even attempt. But I must try, right? I should at least be able to give myself the pat on the back and a bittersweet “you tried”? Because no matter slim the chances, no matter unlikely the event, there is still hope – for me and for my need to be alive.

Haven’t been on tumblr in the longest time (for a long period of time). I miss the days I used to spend here hours on end, but now my heart really isn’t into it. I’m not sure why. Sigh.

Locus of Control

It’s one of those days where I feel so small; smaller than usual. Everything I do is so trivial. Writing chemical reactions, discussing the Bible, objectifying people’s behaviors… In the end, what good will this do for me

I want to leave, explore, get lost, find my way. I want an exciting life. I want to travel and meet strangers with completely different lives. I want to end these chapters of my life where I come to a dead end. I want to move on and make my life worthwhile.

Uncertainty is a part of life but it doesn’t have to take control. I am the pioneer of how I lead my life, and I need to escape this mental jail I keep myself in. My locus of control is unknown but that shouldn’t stop me from trying. What will be, will be; I will take life by the reins and I will find my way. I want to, at least.