A thought crossed my mind as I killed a mosquito a few minutes ago — I just killed a living creature just because it irritated me. The only reason it irritated me was because it needed to in order to survive. And I killed it. Its short time on earth was cut even shorter just because I didn’t want to put up with its skin-irritating blood-sucking nature. If I killed any other larger creatures just because they irritated me, that would have been considered murder or animal cruelty. What makes it okay for me to kill an insect when all it’s doing is supporting itself? All the while, I can’t kill any person if s/he intentionally irritates or angers me because that would be considered inhumane. Sure, mosquitoes can carry dengue and other diseases but it wasn’t intentional! They’re just living their lives!

… This doesn’t mean I won’t stop killing mosquitoes though. I’m just saying I feel a little bad about it.

It’s tough when you’re given distinctions as to what you want to do and what you have to do.

You want to drive, you want to get out of here and flee; you want to trek the world and see life unfiltered. You have to study and get a distinguished high-paying job; you have to follow the norms of society. You want to follow your ideals and desires but you have to fend for yourself. You want to do all that crap but you have to be fucking practical, man.

Distinctions are meant to simplify but ultimately complicate. You want life to come with a handy manual but you have to deal without it.

Tomorrow marks the first day of the last term of my college life.

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Oh, irony.

(Again, sharing for BC. Haha)

Oh, irony.

(Again, sharing for BC. Haha)

I applaud you, random caring stranger. Thanks for spreading the better message. 👏

(As per BC’s request to post on tumblr)

I applaud you, random caring stranger. Thanks for spreading the better message. 👏

(As per BC’s request to post on tumblr)

Gosh.

It’s been a while.

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Lake Lucern from the tram going up to Mt. Pilatus.
I love you, Switzerland.

Lake Lucern from the tram going up to Mt. Pilatus.

I love you, Switzerland.

Anonymous asked: Says you're fighting ga battle with insecurity one day at a time, but you seem like a really interesting, intelligent person. Really! And less important and perhaps a little weird, but you're very pretty. :)

Hi. Hahaha is this the same anon who’s always so nice to me? Thank you for your kind words! I’m sure I put on a better facade on my blog than my actual self, so please don’t overestimate me! Haha!

It’s very touching to hear people (anonymous or not!) being so nice, especially after getting that anon before you. I’m actually quite surprised I’m still getting some messages here and there once in a while, even though I’m very inactive.

Also, I don’t often get messages about my looks so thank you haha this is kinda awkward. Ahahaha. Awkwardness strikes again! Yes, I am quite insecure (several reasons why) and posting on this blog really helps be release some pent up feelings I keep. Thank you for visiting mind. :)

Anonymous asked: Filipino language is very easy to learn maybe you're just a slow learner.

Wow, where did this even come from :)) I don’t think I’ve posted about speaking Filipino in a really long time, so I honestly don’t know where this is coming from lol.

I don’t think you can just “learn” a language, it should come second nature to you. As for me, English was my first language and what I use all the time. I don’t speak in Tagalog at home and I don’t usually converse in it outside my home either, so I don’t sound natural when I speak. I do know how to speak, I just have poor vocabulary and a terrible accent. :P

Growing Up

It is so sad when you give up one passion for another.

You realize there are two types of needs: the need to stay alive and the need to be alive. Seemingly synonymous, but very much different.

Staying alive requires you to be educated, make a living, and find any means to continue to exist on this planet.
Being alive has one sole requirement: to be happy.

There comes a time where you either think that you need to stay alive to be alive, or be alive to stay alive. Sometimes, the lines get blurred and you think they are one in the same. Conversely, you may believe you will need to give one of them up.

I am at the point in my life where I have no fucking clue. I am fully aware of my needs and what I can do to reach those dreams, but I doubt the reality of having both needs achieved in my life. Yes, I could have happiness even when I choose the path of staying alive, but a part of me will always be yearning for that alternative route I could have gone. It seems so forlorn to have both my needs achieved side by side; very much unrealistic and quite foolish to even attempt. But I must try, right? I should at least be able to give myself the pat on the back and a bittersweet “you tried”? Because no matter slim the chances, no matter unlikely the event, there is still hope – for me and for my need to be alive.