Our good fortune allowed us to feel a sadness our parents never had time for.
There are days — more so now than before — where I just feel so alone, sad, frustrated, and terrified. I’m at a point in my life where I want to move forward and move on to better things, but there are too many obstacles in the way. I don’t want to give up, but I don’t want to be stuck. I’m afraid to leave my youth behind and spend it on the sacrifices I need to make for my future. I don’t want to waste it. I want to revel in the time I have while I’m here, in the present.
What’s worse: the lies we tell to console ourselves, or the truths we choose to deny?
Home feels so distant without you
Med school. Wow. I started this tumblr account when I was in high school, and look where I am now. Still writing for an audience that doesn’t exist. But if someone somehow manages to read this, then: Hey, whoever you are! Hello! I hope you aren’t having a crappy time like I am.
Med school is difficult. Most of your time goes to trying to cram a college sem’s worth of information into your brain for one long exam. You end relationships. Sleep happens occasionally. People are smarter than you. They don’t try as hard, and they don’t panic as much, but they still do better than you. But what do you expect? These people top bar exams in their undergrad field. They graduated with honors. They’re on scholarships. What do you have? You have a diploma, average grades, and a decent admission score. You’re getting by, one way or another. You can’t complain. But you feel anxious. All the time. You’re alone now, so you feel more fragile than when you started. You don’t think you’re good enough, and you feel like you’re hanging by a thread. But that’s okay. You just have to work a little harder.
Life is unfair. Life is tough. You just gotta keep on going. You can’t stop. You can’t. You go until you die.
“Trouble is like the ocean. It covers two thirds of the world.”
—Little Bee by Chris Cleave
What I want to see from our president is passion. I want to see his passion when he talks, when he argues, when he sings the national anthem. I want to see the passion he had for his country to become its president. I don’t want to see some guy who’s just trying to do his job. I want to see a man who loves his country and does everything in his power to pick up and rebuild its remains.
“There is no time, there is only eternity and the implacable reality that even life could be ephemeral and nothing more than a season, another summer grown cold. And with the sunlight gone, night is here.”
—F. Sionil Jose, The Pretenders